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Giant Anvil — XL
Forged from premium toon-grade iron. Gravity-guided. Always finds a head.
The original mail-order catalog for premium hand-drawn weaponry. Anvils that land. Dynamite that waits for the punchline. Rocket skates with absolutely no brakes — by design.
Fresh stock, all six items hand-inked this morning. We don't restock fast — we draw faster. Bulk orders ship in a giant crate marked “ACME” in 38 pt Bowlby One.
Forged from premium toon-grade iron. Gravity-guided. Always finds a head.
Telescopic 4 m reach. Releases on punchline. Includes confetti pack.
Roll out anywhere. Defies physics. Cannot be sold to coyotes (lawsuit pending).
Hand-rolled fuse. Lights in any weather. Comes with detachable regret.
Squashes opponents to 3 cm. Reversible: hold mallet under faucet for 8 s.
0–340 km/h in 1.2 s. No brakes (by design). Cliff insurance sold separately.
Pick from 4 000+ items. Order by smoke signal, fax, or carrier-pigeon. Web works too.
Wrapped in extra-strong butcher paper. Tied with red twine. Stamped with TNT (just decoration).
Delivered by parachute, slingshot, or surprise dropbox above the target zone.
Some assembly required. Goggles not included. Pets, neighbors and reputation may suffer.
Verified by Toontown Bureau of Slapstick. All reviews on file (singed but legible).
Best anvil I've ever been hit by. 5 stars, would commission again.
The dynamite never goes off when I want it to. Refund? Absolutely not — this is art.
Rocket skates exceeded expectations. Sadly so did the canyon wall.
Sign up for the ACME Toons mail-order catalog. One paper crate. Twelve numbered issues. Zero disclaimers (we ran out of ink for those).
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